It’s a new year, a new decade. We celebrated with the same friends we rang in the new year with in 2019. Our kids stayed awake too late and have been little bears since, but all in all it was a fun time.
This last decade has been busy: a marriage, two babies, buying a house, job changes, and more.
In 2010, I had recently broken up with a serious boyfriend and was living alone in my treetop apartment (the second floor studio with a bedroom full of windows and vintage green tiles in the bathroom that I could never quite get clean). I was interpreting and doing an event planning internship and generally as worried about my finances and career as I am now. Once a frugal franny, always a frugal franny, I suppose. (In fact, when M moved into the same building across the hall, so close he could touch both of our doors with his massive wingspan, he dubbed my little apartment a “$375 a month shoe closet.”)
In 2011, shortly after a very lonely Valentine’s Day I met M. I remember the way his knees touched the dash of my Honda and his head the ceiling and thinking, “This man is a giant.” The same giant kneeled on the floor at a party to talk to me while I was sitting in the kitchen, away from the noise. And called me instead of texting me to ask me out on dates. And quickly became my home.
In 2012 we were married and bought our house (our cheap apartments did not feature the one thing needed to survive a mid-western summer: air conditioning). We bought our house from a group of volunteers who flipped it and used the profits to build homes in Haiti.
In 2014 we welcomed Graydon, and in 2016, Margaret “came fwying out of my belly” in such a surprising, fast delivery that a doctor I’d never met caught her and we were suddenly stunned to find ourselves a family of four.
In 2017, M was laid off, then took a low-level retail job. We pinched pennies and his hard work paid off. He’s two promotions in and shooting for his own store to manage.
In 2018, on the heels of my parent’s tumultuous divorce, we said goodbye to M’s mom and six months later, his dad. It was a dark time for our marriage. Grief has ways of twisting up intentions and emotions and flipping everything upside down. But grace has been the constant in our lives and so we keep putting one foot in front of the other, believing the best and re-learning each other in the midst of new family dynamics.
Last year was challenging in its own ways too. Graydon started kindergarten, and we juggled being two working parents with two children under 5. We saved money, completed a kitchen renovation, celebrated another promotion for M, and embraced his long working hours while still trying to carve out time for each other and our family.
I can honestly say I have no idea what 2020 will bring. M may be up for another promotion, which could mean a move for our family. I could continue with grad school, or not. We have ideas of vacations and family time, but nothing set in stone. In some ways it feels like we’re still catching our breath.
Since my birthday falls so close to the new year, it’s always a time for reflection and goal setting. I know that setting goals can be helpful for determining how to spend time and money, but I easily become too task oriented. And I’m learning that I too often get distracted by tasks right in front of me (laundry, cleaning, kid’s seemingly immediate needs, work, etc.) when really I want to be making progress on more meaningful hobbies like painting and writing.
So in 2020, I’d like to change that. I’d like to prioritize writing, painting, and creating instead of allowing another year, another decade to go by with me looking back and wondering: Where did the time go? What progress did I make towards my dreams?
With hope in the new year,
L