This week was the first week in a long time that I felt like things were (back) in balance. I know the concept of balance is tricky, though, and so I don’t hold too strongly to the notion of responding perfectly to life’s evolving demands. Life is meant to become out of balance—some weeks we work more to push through a big project, other weeks a sick child needs our attention. Life ebbs and flows as it will, and that’s okay.
Reading
I’m currently reading the Dutch House, by Ann Patchett. I haven’t finished the book yet, but I love its pace, which pulls me forward even when I want to stop and think about what I’ve read. My heart breaks for the brother-sister characters, who are forced to grow up too soon. I’ve enjoyed the narrative so far, and am excited, but a little sad, about the prospect of finishing it.
Listening
I recently discovered Linda Castillo’s series about Chief of Police Kate Burkholder, who works in and amongst the Amish near Painters Mill, Ohio. I love a good mystery and a strong female lead, and Castillo weaves interesting tidbits about Amish culture throughout her stories, adding extra depth. I’ve been listening to the audio books, which are read by Kathleen McInerney, a talented narrator who switches in and out of Pennsylvania Dutch with ease. I’m on the seventh book in the series and listening to each subsequent book has become a (not so) guilty pleasure.
I also enjoyed listening to the HerMoney podcast episode, “How to Avoid Burnout with Ali Abdaal.” As a new ER physician, Abdaal quickly tried to clear patients from his docket, hoping to eventually find an empty waiting room. A more seasoned doctor told Abdaal, “The waiting room will never be empty. You’re never going to make a dent in the list so all you can do is show up, triage, see the patients who are the highest priority, take your break every four hours, because it’s legally mandated and really important and go home at the end of the day because you’ve done what you can and you’ve seen the most important, priority patients.” Abdaal compared this to others’ lives too, adding, “We all have an infinite amount of patients in our waiting room, we have an infinite amount of projects we could be doing… All we can do is show up in our allotted time that hopefully is a reasonable amount based on the amount of work-life balance we want and do the things in order of priority.” Abdaal’s message hit home for me as someone who wants to cross off every single item on my to do list. I often feel defeated when another email pops up, or another project begins. I enjoyed Abdaal’s reminder that there will always be something more we can do, but if we prioritize and do our best with the time we’re allowed, that can be good enough too.
In that same vein, I re-listened to Laura Vanderkam’s I know how she does it: how successful women make the most of their time. Based on time studies with six-figure-earning women, Vanderkam explored how high-powered women still make time for friends, family, and leisure. I love Vanderkam’s perspective. She uses quantitative and qualitative data to debunk the myth that leadership roles mean giving up on family time altogether, or that “opting out” is the only way to cure professional burnout for women with families. Listening to this book helped me to see that I already strike a great balance between work and home, professional and personal goals. It made me more confident about caring deeply about my career and my family and reminded me how to best use the pockets of time we often forget we have.
Other highlights
This week I woke up early to work out and write before the kids awoke. It was a great way to prioritize myself before meeting the demands of the day and as I result, I felt more present and patient all day long. I used to be in the habit of doing this daily but started sleeping through my alarms during the great slog. I’m happy to be back in the early bird camp.
I enjoyed one-on-one time with both kids (a movie night with G and Barbies with MK) as well as time with M.
I completed three weightlifting workouts and hiked at Matthiessen State Park with G, MK, and friends. I also did my daily practice of walking laps and doing stair steps in the storage area of my office. I do ten flights every day on an old staircase in the storage room to keep myself in good hiking shape and burn off work stress. I probably look silly to anyone who stumbles upon me, but few venture back to the storage room and it’s a nice break from my office when I need a moment to think or regroup.
