This week felt slightly busier than the last, in part because I wrapped up a huge corporate impact report for work and as a result, I wasn’t as diligent with waking up earlier and working out. You can’t win them all! Luckily, I fit in a workout this morning, which made my brain and my body happy.
This morning, we all went to church to attend a substance abuse and mental health training. It’s part of a congregational effort to better serve people struggling with mental health and/or addiction issues. Mike and I attended the training while the kids had fun in childcare. (I consider this a win because Margaret was unsure about going. She also let me know, “I can’t go to church tomorrow mom. I only attend once per week.” I laughed thinking back to my own childhood when there was no limit to the amount of time we could and did spend at church).
The training was really informative. I love learning new things alongside Mike and being part of a congregation that is constantly thinking about and addressing the question: How can we serve our neighbors? How can we live out our mission to love absolutely everyone? As a church that is affirming of the LGBTQ+ community, we also recognize that there may be an underserved intersection of that community who would benefit from additional support in the mental health and recovery space. I’m excited for part two of the training.
Reading
A great book on the subject that helped me better understand how addiction affects the brain is Anna Lembke’s Dopamine Nation. She writes about the science behind addiction, while also weaving in stories about the patients in her psychiatry practice. As Lembke’s website explains it, “We’re living in a time of unprecedented access to high-reward, high-dopamine stimuli: drugs, food, news, gambling, shopping, gaming, texting, sexting, Facebooking, Instagramming, YouTubing, tweeting . . . The increased numbers, variety, and potency is staggering. The smartphone is the modern-day hypodermic needle, delivering digital dopamine 24/7 for a wired generation. As such we’ve all become vulnerable to compulsive overconsumption.” Lembke’s book challenged me to think about making peace with what’s uncomfortable to keep the pain-pleasure scale in balance.
On another note, I enjoyed reading this post from a fellow blogger who talked about identifying as a writer whose medium is a blog. I like the concept of crafting an identity as a writer, a thought which in the past would induce imposter syndrome. I’m learning to lean into the benefits of identity-based motivation (IBM). As one academic article explains, “The IBM model assumes that identities are dynamically constructed in context. People interpret situations and difficulties in ways that are congruent with currently active identities and prefer identity-congruent to identity-incongruent actions. When action feels identity-congruent, experienced difficulty highlights that the behavior is important and meaningful. When action feels identity-incongruent, the same difficulty suggests that the behavior is pointless and ‘not for people like me.’” In layman’s terms, this means that we’re more easily able to overcome an obstacle when we associate following through with an activity as congruent, or supportive of our identity. And if I say I’m a writer, it makes the act of writing easier than relying on intrinsic and extrinsic motivations alone. The same is true of exercise. If I’m not motivated to exercise by my own self-talk, or by external rewards, I can think of myself as a person who exercises. The act becomes a part of me, not something I do once in a while.
Listening
This week I took a break from podcasts in favor of listening to music, specifically the Six: the Musical soundtrack. In an effort to be more intentional about quality time with the kids, I’m taking each kid to Chicago for an overnight this summer. Margaret and I just bought tickets to see Six at the Nederlander Theatre during her trip, so we’ve been listening to the soundtrack on repeat. I can’t wait to take her to her first big show. Graydon is more interested in going to the aquarium and booking a segway tour of the city. My only goal is to spend 1:1 time with each kid without the distractions of home and work. I’m happy to let them take the lead with whatever they want to do. While I’m away with each kid, Mike plans to have his own time with the other sibling. He and Graydon are already planning an epic Destiny game night. And I’m sure Margaret will cherish time with Mike, whom she adores to no end.
Other highlights
We adopted two sibling kittens during the pandemic and every day I’m so appreciative of the levity they bring to my life. Bonnie and Rosie are sometimes doglike in their loyalty. They bonded with me when I was working from home all those months, and now they won’t leave my side to eat their breakfast until I’m out of bed. They can also frequently be found curled up on my lap or Margaret’s (they are iffy about Graydon and so-so about Mike, but we’ll forgive them their biases ;).
Bonnie is obsessed with laying on top of the fish tank. The heater makes the top an extra cozy spot to lounge.
This week I encountered a funny oddity that can only be attributed to having children.
Do you see it? That stack of graham crackers a child didn’t feel like taking the time to put back in the box? The same box that is available just one shelf below? Here’s a close up in case you missed it, like I first did.
Kids are funny.
I also enjoyed a dinner out with Graydon, and a Frozen 2 singalong with Margaret. I was apparently reacting too loudly to the more suspenseful parts of the movie, though. Margaret turned to me and said, “If you can’t handle it mom, close your eyes.” Noted, Marge!
Looking forward
I’m really looking forward to our spring break trip, which is now just two weeks away. We are still paying aggressively on our HELOC so wanted to go somewhere close by and relatively inexpensive. Which is why we’ll be embarking on the Great Ohio Road Trip (Indianapolis to Columbus to Cleveland to Cuyahoga Valley National Park and back!). I’m especially excited for Cuyahoga, though I will have to temper my hiking expectations given the company :). Luckily for us, Earth Trekkers has a great plan for “One Perfect Day in Cuyahoga Valley National Park,” that will allow us to hit the highlights.
Onwards and upwards,
Laura