I mentioned previously that this year I want to make progress on the things that matter to me: creating, writing, and painting. In a day and age when it seems like we’re being pulled into hundreds of different directions, finding time for what matters can feel like an insurmountable feat.
But as Laura Vanderkam asserts in her book, 168 Hours: You Have More Time Than You Think, it’s not so much about finding time, it’s about making it. She writes, “Recognizing [that we have time for what matters] requires changing the narrative.” One high achieving woman Vanderkam interviewed for the book “doesn’t tell herself I don’t have time for X, Y, or Z. She tells herself that she won’t do X, Y, or Z because ‘it’s not a priority.'”
I often tell myself I don’t have time to exercise, but I still make time for reading a half hour each day. Perhaps I could read while on the treadmill at the gym.
Likewise, I tell myself I don’t have time to paint, but I often find myself mindlessly scrolling through social media after my kids go to bed. What if I were to set out my paints and a canvas before doing the kids’ nighttime routine, making it even easier to start painting right away once they’re asleep?
Last semester, I trudged through a very difficult economics class in my M.B.A. program. Did I enjoy being in class until 9 p.m. each week? Did I like calculating diminishing returns into the wee hours of the night so that I could get an A in the class? No, but I did, because I’d decided it was a priority. (And lest I needed reminding, M was always there to say, “Suck it up, buttercup. If you want something, you’ve got to put in the work.” Thanks, M.)
This year I’d like to focus more on how I can take responsibility for my life and my time. There are big blocks of time that are less my own than others (like while at work or when I’m solo-parenting the kids), but I want this year to think more critically about how I’m spending the other times.
Part of this can be accomplished with outsourcing and organization. This careful grocery shopper now gets groceries delivered every other week. And I’m currently weeding through my closet to make getting dressed a faster and more enjoyable experience.
The other aspect of choosing well has to do with focusing on the important, but not urgent quadrant of life. If I think carefully about my personal mission statement, or my core competencies, laundry does not enjoy a prominent spot on the list. It needs to get done, but it doesn’t have to be my highest priority.
Last year, I completed Leadership Illinois, a leadership program consisting of three multi-day conferences: The Power of Government, The Power of the Individual, and The Power of the Marketplace. As I met my peers I was quickly fascinated by their accomplishments. How did a mom of four manage to work full-time, become the president of her large Rotary chapter, vacation with friends, and speak at large gatherings on diversity and inclusion? How did another woman earn both a Ph.D. and M.B.A. while nurturing a family and investing in her faith community? How did yet another manage a team at her day job and run a successful fitness program for her community at 5:30 a.m. three days per week?
And then the answer came to me: they made a choice. Each of the women in Leadership Illinois made the choice to nurture what they value.
I remember sitting in my hotel room one night during Leadership Illinois and having the sudden and strong realization: I’m meant for more than laundry.
Which is shorthand for: I’m meant for more than the urgent but unimportant tasks that clog up each of our days. I’m meant for relationships, and adding beauty, and finding creative (and affordable) solutions to life’s challenges. I’m meant for more.
The reality is: we’re all meant for more. We’re all given gifts that we can choose to nurture. This year, I’m challenging myself to ask for and embrace more. To make the sometimes difficult choice to looks past the seemingly endless demands right in front of me and instead focus on bringing my gifts to light in the world.