We’re far enough away from the hustle and bustle of the holidays that I’ve been able to think about my goals and intentions for 2019. I set intense goals last year, few of which were actually met due to two deaths in the family and a job change. This year, I’m cutting myself some slack and writing down some more attainable goals for 2019.
Our family schedule is changing again—my husband got a promotion so will be working more over the coming year. I anticipate spending more time solo-parenting as a result. It’s a welcome change for my husband, career-wise, and a doable transition for our family, but I’m even more aware of the need to practice self-care and set boundaries on my own time, to help maintain my sanity and our family’s peace.
I’m learning that with a job that is more structured, time-wise, I need to be more protective of the time I have outside of work, so I can focus on the activities that give me energy and bring me joy. I need to say no to the things that could be outsourced (whether to my husband or someone else), and say yes to things that a). only I can do and/or b). I deeply enjoy.
Those things are:
- Working out – I aim to work out two times per week (whether at the gym, at home, or with the kids).
- Painting – I’ve spent so much of the last four years painting for others as a side hustle, whether canvases or furniture for others’ homes. Now that I no longer need the extra income, I’m focusing on doing art for the sake of art. My goal is to paint four canvases in 2019.
- Writing – My goal is to write on my blog once per week in the new year. I will continue to journal and write down my prayers each morning. I’d like to eventually redesign this space completely, and merge it with my portfolio website, but for now, posting consistently is a big enough goal.
- Friend time – My goal is to have one friend date per week, and to text my friends throughout the day. I want to focus on pouring into others and cultivating real friendships. The baby years take their toll on friend time and I’m looking to both strengthen the friendships I have now and make new friends too.
Being the list maker that I am, of course I have other hopes for 2019, including house projects, travel, and financial goals. But my overarching focus this year is on being content with where I’m at, and giving grace to myself and others.
A couple months ago, I took a yoga class with a guided meditation at the end. The teacher asked us to focus on our heart’s desire–for that day, for that moment, for that season. As I lay on the floor towards the end of the meditation, I heard my heart whisper “grace.” I want grace so badly I can taste it, and the great thing, is that it’s already mine. It was already bought and paid for long ago.
The last seven years of my life have been busy: getting engaged, married, having two babies in three years, losing both of my in-laws, and my husband and I both changing jobs.
Throughout it all, I haven’t cut myself a lot of slack. I’ve expected a lot of myself without looking at everything going on around me and adjusting accordingly. So, I’m hoping to take 2019 as a year to just be. Be here now. Be in this season and stage. And to find contentment in each moment.
I so admire bloggers like Crystal of Money Saving Mom, or Brandy of The Prudent Homemaker. They both find joy in the small things, and seek contentment through their faith. They’ve both been through trials but manage to be joyful even in the valleys. I also love that though their family incomes have fluctuated, they are still content with living frugally.
We have always lived frugally, but this year, we’re in a new season financially. We’re both building careers with benefits and raises and good salaries. Suddenly we don’t necessarily have to pinch every penny.
That said, even with our increased income we’re trying to live off the same amount we’ve always had (if not live more frugally) to refill our emergency fund, save for retirement, and pay extra on our 15 yr. mortgage. It’s yet another reason to practice contentment. It’s so easy to look at bigger houses, or fancier furniture, or exciting vacations and think: This is how others live (though who can say how they pay for everything). And, this is what we could have. My husband gently reminds me that we have other goals, and that we’ll get there in good time. (Thank goodness one of us is on it 😉 )
I’m excited that for the first time in a long time, my goals feel doable. They feel manageable despite the change in my husband’s work schedule. I can always take my laptop to work and write over my lunch break. I can always take the kids to the gym with me and run around the track with them, or work out while they’re in the gym’s childcare. I can text friends anytime, or meet for a quick lunch during the work day. I can paint four canvases in a year, because I’m used to cranking out multiple projects each month.
And maybe that’s what grace looks like. Allowing yourself the permission to do just enough. And not setting yourself up for failure before you’ve even begun.
Here’s to joy, and grace, and contentment. Happy 2019.